A Return to the Homeland

Retirement Land Revisited

No, not Ajijic.  We summoned our courage and returned to Florida to see how most people spend their retirements.   Well, not really.  That was just a side bar.  We actually went to a wedding (very fun) and to visit Michael's sister and our nieces (also very fun).  We travelled from Orlando, to Tampa to Naples and back and here is what we saw/experienced:

1)  About 7,592 gated communities with names like Broad Oak, Oak Crest, Golden Oak, Oakdale, Oak Village, Elm Village, Pine Village...well, you get the idea.  Hundreds of Hallmark verse writers have found a lucrative retirement sitting in a bull pen making up names for these communities that are spawned at about one per hour.

2) One Vape Shop per strip mall. Five strip malls per mile.  A Business Week article at the end of 2013 said there were 3,500 shops in the United States.  This appears to be a growth market because we swear there are 3,500 Vape Shops between Naples and Tampa.  All I can say is that all those people who quit smoking must have rethought their decision and are stampeding to Vape Shops.  Number of Vape Shops in Ajijic = 0.

3)  Immigration - Are you kidding me?  See item #1 about gated communities.  They specialize in broad expanses of lawn, flower beds, communal pools etc.  We believe that the entire population of Guatemala is required to keep these enclaves pristine (and they are).  Maybe El Salvador too...

4) Mini Storage Facilities -- Three per mile on each side of the street.  WHAT are these people hiding? After Dexter, I have always been leery of storage lockers.  And so many.....

5) Disney Gone Mad -- Entire "Town Centers" appear to have been lifted off the Disney Back Lot and plopped down randomly in South Florida.  You will see pictures.  It looks like you could walk up to a building, give it a push, and it would collapse backwards revealing only scrub palm and a snake or two.

Looks like something from Disney World...

and your not sure if it's a facade or real.

One very un-Disneylike thing at least was this sculpture, which is only on loan temporarily.

The next several photos will reveal some of the detail in the sculpture...

from the detail at the front of the base, ...

to the back of the base

and the back of the ring.

Deirdre with Michael's cousin's daughter who is now teaching in Naples. She just returned from Istanbul--talk about culture shock....

6) Excess. Floridians adore it.  Michael had discovered a "Christmas display".  He was alone when he discovered it since I was a victim of turista at the time.  Yes, fine in Morocco, fine in Mexico, I can no longer drink American water.  The next night we returned.  It had to be two acres.  The animatronic Santa would suddenly lurch into action traumatizing dozens of small tots for the rest of their lives.

Needless to say the following photos need no captions. These were just a select few of the many blow-up & lighted displays throughout the two acres.

This was the animatronic Santa Claus that would suddenly spring to life & scare the small children.

 OK.  Now that I have gotten my snark off about Florida, here were some very cool things:

1)  Went to the Chihuly exhibit in Saint Petersburg.  Pictures follow.  This guy utilizes teams of glass blowers to create these amazing landscapes and individual pieces of glass.  While walking through the exhibit I was amazed to see these plate-like objects that fill store after store in our neighboring town of Tonala.  Huh?  Are our Mexican artisans copying Chihuly?  Vice versa?  I told the gift store guy that we could pick up one for 10% of the cost in his store.  He wanted to know where.  I stonewalled.  So, all our friends in Mexico and northern visitors, hop right over to Tonala and scoop one up.  Install it on your wall and when it is admired, shrug dismissively and say "Oh, just a Chihuly I picked up".

2) St. Petersburg has been really spruced up and you no longer see geriatrics sitting in lawn chairs ready to keel over.  The older cities have generally improved and actually have some character (see point 5 above).

This is the Dali museum in St. Petersburg, which we had visited on a previous trip.

This is the classic old Florida building in soft pink.

These next photos are of a new building in St. Petersburg, which includes a hotel, the municipal building and the police station.

       Mary swears this hotel is owned by the Scientologists.  Security showed up as soon as Michael took out his camera so......

3) Took a hike in Cork Screw Swamp (phobia #5 - reptiles) but it was very cool.  This is the VERY swamp which was a major character in The Orchid Hunter and the home of the elusive Ghost Orchid. Oddly, they provide signs pointing to the Ghost Orchid (it IS a Ghost, we never saw it) which seems counterintuitive if people are always trying to steal it.  We encountered a group of birders (it is an Audubon sanctuary) tricked out in camouflage, goofy-floppy hats, waders, 40 pound binoculars and fanny packs.  Birders may be the Kings of nerd society.

We spotted this juvenile Anhinga perched above the swamp.

This Red-shouldered Hawk was resting in a tree.

The bright red color on this leaf reminded us of fall in New England.

The number of orchids clinging to the cypress trees in the swamp was astounding. Unfortunately none were in bloom.

the knobs of the cypress trees poked above the water in the swamp.

This White Ibis was wading trough the swamp....

along with its companion.

The variety of flora in the swamp was photographically very interesting.

This Yellow-crowned Night-Heron was perched on a tree limb.

This Little Blue Heron was standing on a fallen limb above the swamp.

One of the many wild flowers growing in the swamp.

4) Most sane wedding ever.  Quenby and Troy had their wedding on the beach.  Everyone wore shorts, flip flops, whatever.  Guests showed up and drank beer and played beach stuff for a couple of hours.  Then a five minute ceremony.  Then walk 100 feet to Doc's Bar and have finger food and drinks.  Order something to eat if you want to.  OK Twenty-Thirty somethings (if any of you read this), think about it.  No twenty-two attendants.  No Hen/Batchelor parties.  No reception for 2,200 of your closest friends.  Do it the Quenby/Troy way.  Save enough money to travel the world for a year or put a down payment on a house.  Ah, they won't listen.....

Troy & Quenby at an informal get together the night before their wedding.

Everyone got together to hang out on the beach & relax before the wedding.

The couple in their wedding attire.

Quenby getting her bridal bouquet.

The wedding ceremony with Troy's aunt officiating.

Everyone gathered around on the beach for the ceremony.

A very happy bride...

as they exchange rings.

The groom & bride are now husband & wife.

Quenby's aunt made a traditional Polish headdress.

As the wedding ended the sun began to set in the west...

and we went inside for the cutting of the cake.

5) The Edison Ford Museum.  We never knew that: 1)Edison was a mentor to Ford; 2)Edison had a partner who screwed him out of a lot of money while living in the house next door which was very awkward; 3) Edison and Ford stubbornly insisted on finding a source of natural latex producible in America while Dupont just made synthetic rubber and scooped the market.  Turns out that Golden Rod is the best natural source -- who would have guessed.  Well, yes, we learned numerous things about the great men and the architecture and setting were delightful.  They seemed to skip the part about Ford's Nazi leanings and antisemitism so we didn't bring it up.

This is the largest Banyan tree planted by Thomas Edison when he was experimenting with domestic rubber production.

A statue of Thomas Edison among the Banyan tree.

Because we were visiting in December, there were many Christmas tree each with its own theme.

Edison's den.

Side view of Edison's home with  a pergola.

Another room in Edison's hoe.

One of the many themed Christmas trees.

And yet another themed Christmas tree.

The dining room of the Edison home.

Another view of the dining room looking into the parlor.

A back view of Edison's home.

The front parlor of the Ford home.

The front of the Ford home.

One of the Ford bedrooms.

Another bedroom for Ford's secretary.

The Ford dining room.

A full view of the Ford home.

The next two photos are all of themed Christmas trees. The staff must have been very busy creating all of these themed trees.

I couldn't resist taking the photo of the patchwork bear.

The Christmas tree is wired into the overhead light, which is the way it would have been done in Edison's time.

This was Mina Edison's moon garden.

 

Another view of the  moon garden with the reflecting pool.

The Edison estate also had a swimming pool.

A very, very large bougainvillea.

The next series of photographs are of some of the orchids decorating the Edison estate.

 

6) Strip Mall Dining.  A devotee of Trip Advisor, I had lined up places to eat in each city.  Every one of them was in a strip mall.  The first one (Sushi) was in a frightening strip mall.  They were all super!  Finally, a reason for strip malls.  We took a trip to Michael's favorite retro restaurant -- Lee and Ricks in Orlando where we met Donna and Todd who have just returned to Florida from Ajijic. Founded in 1959 (and never ANYTHING done to it) it reeked Old Florida charm

The exterior of Lee & Rick's designed to look like a ship.

The entry hall continues the ship's motif.

At the end of the hall a picture of Lee & Rick (probably from 1959 when they opened).

You can sit at bar stools below the sailfish and order raw oysters or other seafood.

Or you can sit at a booth as Deirdre, Donna & Todd are doing.

More Christmas Disfunction

Yes, out of town friends it is time for my annual apology for: 1) sending you someone else's Christmas card; 2) sending you no Christmas card; 3) sending you six Christmas cards.  I actually think some of you are beginning to look forward to how I will screw up each year. And I do.  So, sorry once again and I SWEAR next year I will master this.  We have so much stuff going on that we will try to do another blog before Christmas -- we'll see.  As a teaser, one item will involve flaming field hockey.

Stay tuned.  Looking forward to our sons arrival next Monday.  Strange tree trimmed.  Presents wrapped.