Lyle, Lyle Crocodile

 Fall/Winter 2020:  A Blog That Didn't Get Published on Time.

So, Why Haven't We Blogged?

• A total lack of motivation to do almost anything but watch Netflix and eat popcorn in our pajamas;
• An endless stream of illnesses, conditions, hospitalizations etc. that we won't bore you with.  Well, we will but in the next blog;
• A complete lack of festivities in our little village to report on. No Globos Balloon Festival.  No Day of the Dead.  No Virgin of Guadalupe veneration, no San Andres patron saint nine day bacchanal, no posada with Jesus and Mary, no live nativity scenes, no raucous New Years celebrations (well, a few), no Three Kings Day, No Mardi Gras;
• We have gone nowhere interesting.  Wait, edit that. We have gone NOWHERE.  I canceled our four day get away to Bacalar (the Lagoon of Seven Colors) because our friend Patti went there and said that is was filled to the brim with foreign tourists and you know the pestilence that comes with them;
• We have been so busy improving ourselves by losing weight, learning several foreign languages and training for the Senior Olympics that we had no time to blog.  That is a lie.
• We were dancing, dancing, dancing at the defeat of Trump;
• When not watching Netflix, we have been glued to the TV watching the fall of the empire.  Each day we turn to each other in wonder as civilization continues to collapse around us.  (See Co-vid and Capitol Riot)  This depresses us so thoroughly that we are unable to blog,
• We have had to work hard to amass good photos (best part of the blog) because who wants pictures of us in our pajamas, or in hospital johnies, or standing on an empty street where a parade should be, or yelling at the TV every time Trump stopped playing golf and gave an unhinged press op.

It's Getting Weirder by the Minute....

I swear even the animals are getting weirded out by Co-vid.  We haven't seen so many animals and insects and birds (friendly or unfriendly) ever since we arrived here.  Is it climate change?  A decrease in fossil fuel emissions?  An inability to afford to feed your crocodiles any longer?  Well, let's start there.  The headline of the Guadlajara Reporter a while ago "Chapala Harbormaster emits Crocodile Alert".  Hmm.  Yes, a crocodile (8+ feet) has been reported lolling off the Ajijic pier amidst the lireo (water hyacinth) that accumulates at the end of rainy season.  Well, actually it could be two crocodiles.  Or perhaps more.  We've heard they've already caught two.  So, as Michael (that tender little morsel) headed off to kayak this morning I issued a stern warning to avoid the crocodiles.  He shrugged.  I mean it is weird.  Crocodiles like salt water or brackish water not pure, fresh (well kind of) lake water.  So maybe someone let them loose after they grew too large and hungry.  But two or more?  That seems excessive.  I can't just ramble on about them.  Next blog we will report if there is a plague of crocodiles or just "exotics" as they term birds who have become undone directionally.

God This Pump House Tastes Good!

And then there are the cows.  Our neighborhood is strictly residential but it is not uncommon to find a few horses or a small herd of cows wandering our streets and munching on the grass in our median strips.  There was a massively pregnant cow taking a siesta on the sidewalk down the hill a couple of weeks ago.  The other day, Michael was headed home towards our street when he glanced to the left and saw several cows avidly licking the pump house that functions with the neighborhood well.  Their massive tongues couldn't get enough of.... well, we have no idea.  The pump house and piping had recently been upgraded and all we can think is that some element of the repairs involved salt.  They sure were happy cows.

The Small, yet Mighty Insects and Arachnids

During the pandemic you are in closer touch with nature.  You have no choice because you can't go anywhere but your yard.  Things we barely noticed have become sources of great interest to us in that we are bored out of our minds.  Thus, item #1, the Cutter Ants.  These ants display precision and teamwork that allow them to decimate your plants at an amazing rate.  They work at night to avoid detection.  The other morning we were going to the car and noted that overnight they had eaten at least 1/2 of our very large jasmine plants.  They also like geraniums.  There are plants they won't touch but they are the ugly ones. 

We have been lucky that we don't have a lot of scorpions.  There is no rhyme or reason as to who has scorpions--  your house just does or it doesn't.  I used to call our friend Alex's bathroom the Scorpion baño since it seemed there was invariably a scorpion there.  In our six years in this house we've seen two.  One was this week in our bathroom.  They like bathrooms.  While performing my toilette I glanced to the side and saw a BIG one in (predictably) the shower.  No need to rush.  They are really slow and stupid.  Eventually I called Michael and he dispatched him.  Our old house specialized in Black Widows but Nancy our housekeeper knew their tricks intimately and I never saw one that was still breathing.

After our last blog that featured the Walking Stick insect we heard from our friend Wes that it is also known as the Horse Killer.  This is because it looks like a piece of hay and likes to hide in a pile of hay and if a horse ingests even one it is as dead as a door nail.  We will be careful not to eat one.

And then there are the Velvet Ants which are really wasps.  The females bite and it hurts like hell.  One dropped off the ceiling onto Michael while napping.  That wasn't fun.  Then one got him on the couch.  I have remained untouched for the moment.  I just feel that while we have dodged the bullet so far on co-vid and since our weather is mild, breezy and lovely year round that I should come clean and tell you that we have some really bad creatures.  Not as bad as Australia but not great.

The Walking Stick

The Velvet Ant aka the Cow Killer because of its very painful sting.

One of the more unusual arachnids spotted around our house.

This unusual insect decided to hang out on Alex's jeans.

Snakes

We don't have them.  There was Snake Lake of course and it is rumored that there are water snakes in our Lake.  Well, maybe but I've never seen one and don't plan to.  Mexicans have a low tolerance for snakes which is OK (if unenlightened ) with me.

Butterflies, Hummingbirds and Dragon Flies

Keep it up Canada and the U.S.!  I think the reduction in emissions and the planting of butterfly friendly plants is paying off.  We have never seen so many, or such varied, butterflies.  Of course we have to endure the caterpillars first but only a few are poisonous.  And the hummingbirds and dragon flies are numerous and behaving well.

A fuzzy caterpillar...

that will one day turn into a butterfly (although maybe not as pretty as this one).

Another one of the butterflies drawn to the Lantana.

The dragonfly was perhaps attracted to our much larger dragonfly lamp mounted on our outside wall.

Summary

Fall and winter were boring as hell.  Winter/Spring terrifying.  But you'll have to read the next blog to discover why.  How's that for a cliff hanger?

I'll See You a Pandemic and Raise You a Liver

 I know.  We haven't blogged in ages.  But all that changes today!!! It is hard to believe that any year could be worse than 2020 but we are working on it.While the exile of Trump to Mar-A-Lago is truly a source of joy and succor and the ascent of My Boy Joe (I was backing him for YEARS and taking a lot of guff for it) is so far marvy, the rest of the Searles' world has been a bit trying.  So, here goes.

As Alex had just began to launch his new business (website services for highly underserved businesses in Ajijic) he started to get sick.  First it was occasional episodes that would recede in a few days.  Then they began to get closer and more intense.  So, off to the Doc.  Initially, they said that his liver was inflamed but with a special diet and no liquor or Tylenol the liver would repair itself in a year or two because that's the way livers are -- resilient.  More illness.  Closer, worse.  More doctors.  "Well, we can treat it but at some point he may well need a liver transplant." Yikes!  More illness.  Closer, worse.  More doctors. "He needs a liver transplant NOW!" Double Yikes.  Despite the accumulated knowledge of zillions of doctors they have no idea why his liver has gone south.  Best thought is that he has had Epstein Barr which has been known to lurk in one's system and go crazy and attack an organ. 

Before we left Ajijic, Chico was looking after Alex as he slept.

Let me interject at this point that our GP in Mexico is super.  Call him on his cell at 3AM and he's  immediately on the phone to you. Totally has your back.  But there is only so much he can do. So we end up going to see a Mexican liver transplant specialist.  There were 2 in Guadalajara but one had his license pulled for jacking around with the transplant waiting list (probably bribes involved) and so now there was one.  There may be more but nobody knew of any. We did not view this as hopeful.  But we went to see him.  Now, he was extremely nervous about dealing with us.  He kept repeating things like:  "Well, it's hard with Americans because everyone thinks they do medical tourism and come here and pay somebody's gardener to get half his liver."  He said this multiple times while also invoking something about the Declaration of Istanbul which meant there couldn't be a transplant for three months...or forever, who knows.

He dismissed us even though Alex could hardly stand and wasn't making a lot of sense and within 12 hours Alex was comatose and unable to perform any physical or mental tasks.  Call to Santiago.  Call to ambulance.  Off to hospital (for the third time in 3 months).  They got him somewhat stable and then Santiago, looked at us and said, "If I were you, I'd get him on an air ambulance and into the States." No need to repeat that.  On our way.

You might think that riding in a Lear Jet is pretty sexy and cool.  Forty years ago I rode in one and it WAS sexy and cool.  Not so much this time.  I have never paid so much money to ride crumpled up with someone's (Alex's) feet in my face.  So, we're packed in with pilot, co-pilot, critical care doctor, general practice doctor, stretcher, Alex, tubes, oxygen, bottle of God knows what and some snacks.  And we fly to LA.

The Mexican ambulance dropping Alex off to take the air ambulance to LA.

The air ambulance - a Lear jet.

Loading some of the gear onto the jet.

Alex and the two doctors on the jet.

The American ambulance with Alex loaded for transport to Cedars - Sinai.

The Docs escort us via ambulance to the Cedars Sinai Emergency Room.  It is Saturday night.  Do you know what an ER in LA looks like on a Saturday night?  Just let your imagination run wild and then double it.  However, if you ever want to get quick service, show up with a cadre of people wearing shirts that say in blaring red letters FLIGHT CREW and two thousand pounds of medical equipment.  Clearly not their first rodeo,  the Air Docs wangle us to the front, brief the ER folks and within a few hours Alex is stationed in his room.  

Meanwhile Justin has been working his magic to get Michael's second covid shot at Dodger Stadium but has to get me an appointment at a different site.  We all pile into the car anyway and head for the stadium along with about 5,000 (I may not be exaggerating) other cars.  The experience renewed my faith in American efficiency and good will,  We snaked and meandered through the endless red cones until we reached the injection tent.  No horn honking, road rage, hurled insults.  AND they gave me the shot too even though I wasn't registered there.  One thing off the list.

Lines of cars waiting at Dodgers Stadium for the Covid vaccine.

Michael and I have quickly rented a VRBO in spite of the fact that there is a perfectly fine 2 bedroom condo we own in LA.  Justin, eldest son is, at his point, trying with all his might to dislodge the two "roommates" who were supposed to be staying for a few weeks and ended up staying over a year.  They seem to have difficulty understanding why they should move even though they pay no rent or assume any responsibility for...well anything.  In order to accommodate us, we order a queen size sleep sofa for the living room and deposit the old couch on the curb for some penniless student/actor to pick up and cherish.  But this is LA.  Two days later it is still there.  The next morning it is STILL there but there is a homeless person sleeping peacefully on it.  Justin ends up having to pay a "charity"  $100 to take it away. So LA. 

It didn't take long for this person to take advantage of a comfortable sleeping spot.

We always seem to end up with very interesting VRBO hosts.  Exhausted and bedraggled, we were met by Peggy who imparted in rapid fire style the following:  1) she has a son whose career is being a stilt walker (you read that right) in Humboldt County.  What this really means is that he grows a serious crop of weed and, by the way, can walk on stilts; 2) She was a female wrestler and is now a female wrestling umpire. "Even though it's all fake, after you push 40 it starts to hurt."; 3) She augments her income by renting out her property to film crews (she lives across from Warner Bros.). This is demonstrated one day while I am working on a jigsaw puzzle in our "private" courtyard when 8 young Japanese people walk in, completely ignore me, and start to decide how they will position the their warriors and archers.  Why warriors and archers would be fighting on a patio in suburban Burbank I find rather confusing but I just let it go.

Chico on his dog bed on the futon sofa at the VRBO after his exhausting three day journey from Ajijic to LA.

Meanwhile, Alex is being blood-let, imaged and prodded vigorously by the liver transplant team at Cedars Sinai.  Yes, indeed, he needs a new one.  After about five days the financial people run his insurance and discover to their (and our) surprise that as of March 1 (it is now March 8ish) Alex's insurance stopped using Cedars Sinai as a provider so -- sorry buddy-- no liver for you here.  He will, instead, have to go to USC Keck Liver Transplant center which is also very good but this whole thing is a pain.  Particularly, and oddly, just after the insurance issue is surfaced, Cedars pronounces Alex good to leave.  Yep, out you go sonny.  About 18 hours later, Alex goes south once more and is checked into the LAC + USC ER and hospital where he spends another four or five days (it all blurs).

Alex at Cedars-Sinai...

and getting ready to be discharged. His belly, legs and ankles were still very swollen with water weight. Within two weeks of this Alex lost a little over 30 lbs. of fluid and was back to his normal self.

After Alex's stay at Cedars Sinai and his sojourn at LAC + USC, Michael has flown back to Ajijic to fetch belongings for the long haul and Chico Rico, the world's friendliest pit bull.  He throws everything in the car and drives for three straight days to make it back to LA.  He crosses the border brandishing various documents including a hard won health certificate for Chico.  The border agent inspects nothing, looks at no documents but spends a pleasant few minutes discussing pit bulls and which kind he should get.  The border is always a crap shoot.

I'm only going to take you up to today because, well, it is just so wearing.... Alex's PCP cannot see him for two weeks after he gets out of the hospital even though the discharge notice says he should see "immediately".  This is because he is one month from retirement and "easing" himself into it by only working two days a week.  When Michael and Alex finally make it into his office it is apparent that he should have retired perhaps a decade ago.  He pronounces: "you don't need me, you need a hepatologist".  Well, duh.  Meanwhile, while Alex calls Keck each day they reiterate that he is "not in the system" and therefore does not exist.  This, despite the fact that he was referred to USC Keck by USC.  It is inexplicable but after about another two weeks he miraculously "enters the system" and he is now scheduled to run the gauntlet of preliminary liver appointments in Mid-May.  After that we should know more -- God, I HOPE we know more.

We have managed to have some fun and see some interesting places -- many parks to assuage the condo confined Chico. Also, Alex has been gaining strength and stamina each day so we aren't as crazy worried/obsessed as we have been.  Although, maybe we should be.  So to lighten the mood, we shall include some pastoral scenes (kind of) of LA.  We hope all of you are well and we are holding our collective breaths for the end of this pandemic (and liver) nightmare.  Take care.  More soonish.

One day we took Chico for a walk in Beverly Gardens Park in Beverly Hills and encountered this garden "nymph".

The flowers in the garden park were fabulous...

and as we got closer the "nymph" was taking pictures of the flowers with her phone.

A shady pergola with benches for resting and viewing the flowers,...

such as this magnificent rose.

Deirdre spotted this cupola and asked what Church this might be...

and I pointed out this was the Beverly Hills City Hall.

The Brand Library at Brand Park in Glendale, where we went on another outing.

The relocated, restored Doctors House at Brand Park. A quintessential example of a Queen Anne Victorian house.

Also at Brand Park was this sculpture titled "Miss American Green Cross"...

an early tribute to the conservation movement.

Springtime in LA brings out some amazing flowers.

Finally we will leave you with what we have termed "doggy TV". Chico enjoys looking out the window while on his dog bed, because it is the perfect height for him to observe the comings and goings of the neighbors (especially the many dog neighbors).