It's Not Easy Being an Immigrant
I don't know. It seemed easy. At first. We went to the Consulate in Boston, showed them our bank statements, got an FM3 Visa and Presto! we were in. Then, a year later they decided to change everything -- they love to do that here. So then we had to give up our FM3 Visa and decide if we wanted to be temporale (4 year visa) or permanente (forever visa). Choice seems simple, doesn't it? Well, of course there were complicating factors.
There are no photos that would adequately portray the bureaucratic and consumer nightmare in which we find ourselves so we'll just insert random off-topic stories and photos of puppies, kittens, and cute children so that you don't go mad trying to follow any logic in all this. It seems to work for Facebook.
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Jaguar Escapes in Ajijic Neighborhood
First one must realize that Mexico has passed a law banning the use of wild animals in the circus.
Laudable I suppose. However, with perfect Mexican logic it is entirely legal to own "exotic" pets as an individual. This is particularly popular with cartel figures who collect lions, rhinos, hippos, whatever. As I was reading an article concerning this very subject to Michael over breakfast at a local restaurant a friend came by and said: "Hey, so we couldn't leave our house this morning because of the escaped jaguar."
It seems that a six month old Jaguar had "somehow" escaped its cage and sauntered through the gate to roam the wilds of Lower La Floresta. As it ambled along, it encountered an elderly woman walking her chihuahua and promptly ate the dog while the old woman attempted to pry it out of the jaguar's jaws.
After the ace La Floresta security people realized they were in over their heads, all manner of police, firemen et al were enlisted to capture the beast. Which they did. According to them, the jaguar was "completely domesticated" (ask the chihuahua) and the groundskeeper (owner absent) had "no idea" how it had escaped. They decided to give it back to the groundskeeper since he was doing such a good job, the jaguar was domesticated and clearly it would never happen again even though they had no idea how it happened this time. La Floresta is not sleeping well.
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| Credit to the Guadalajara Reporter. Their caption says it all. |
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OK back to our depressing story. The big complicating immigration factor was NAFTA. Love it or hate it, NAFTA has played a big role in our (somewhat faulty) decision making. How? Well, we bought a 2011 Suburu the year before we moved. And we love (d) it. We decided to go for the temporale visa because, according to NAFTA, by the time we had to renew our visa (and go permanente) the car would be old enough to nationalize legally. If we had gone permanente 3 years ago, we would have had to take the beloved car to the border, sell it in the U.S. and buy a new car here and plate it in Jalisco. Don't ask me to explain the reasoning behind all this because it totally escapes me. It just IS.
So, about a month ago, we go to Spencer our lawyer to discuss our upcoming visa change to permanente and to discover what hoops we must jump through with the car. Here is the dialogue:
"Hey Spencer. So, our car's a 2011. We're good for nationalizing it, right? I mean it's time for it to be legal right?"
" Yeah. Well under NAFTA it is-- but the Mexican government has decided they really don't want to adhere to that."
"Huh? They just decided that they will ignore the Trade Agreement? Just not DO it?"
"Yep. That's about it."
"Jeeez, we went temporale just so we could legalize it."
"Yep, you and a few thousand others."
"What can we do?"
"Oh, well if you want to keep it here's what you have to do: 1) Michael has to sign the car over to Deirdre; 2) You, Deirdre, have to to stay temporale because they don't care how much money you have but do insist that you have a revenue stream and you're the only one collecting Social Security; 3) Then you have to leave the country, bring all your bank records and proof of your revenue stream, go to the Consulate and reapply for your temporale; 5) Then, Michael can apply for permanente and after another four years maybe the Mexican government will decide your car is old enough to legalize...or not."
So, three years later we are faced with EXACTLY the same conundrum we encountered before.
So, Michael and I go home, pour a stiff one and contemplate our options. They all stink. However, we ultimately decide that the logical thing to do is to both go permanente, take the car to Los Angeles and give it to Alex, our son who just moved from Boston to LA and needs a car, and buy a new Subaru here in Mexico. That's the plan. It is less than ideal. Time for a little lightheartedness.
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An Evening Of Miss Conception
We have mourned the loss of The Red Piano-- our local cabaret that featured all kinds of straight/gay/draggy entertainment. It was so civilized. Anyway, our moods were lightened by the fact that Miss Conception was coming to town. Miss Conception is rather a phenomenon in his/her hometown of Toronto and has just played to sell out crowds in Puerto Vallarta for several weeks. She describes herself as a Female Delusionist. What differentiates Miss Conception from your run of the mill Drag Queen is that she switches characters multiple times (wig/clothes changes) entirely on stage. But it is all very tasteful because she (I'm just going with her performance gender here) layers all these different outfits and strip teases them off. I wish we had photos but the auditorio was pitch black. Maybe we can come up with something.
Her opening act was The Wizard of Oz in 15 minutes. During this time she went from Glinda - the good witch-- to the Wicked Witch-- to the Cowardly Lion-- to the Tin Man -- to Dorothy and sang every song from the movie. Very well. She'd just turn her back to the audience, strip off her wig, wiggle out of her costume to reveal the one below and well....it was just very interesting.
Our two week long Classical and Jazz Music Festival (Northern Lights) had just finished up the night before. It is a VERY eclectic little village.
To take a look at Miss Conception you can follow the link:
missconception.ca
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It's Not Easy Buying a Car in Mexico -- Or at Least the One You Want
In the United States if you are just walking down the street and casually glance at a car showroom window a guy runs out and grabs you and drags you in and starts offering you deals. It is not like that here. For starters, all the prices are set. No haggling. Secondly, the attitude of the Mexican car salesmen (there are so many different ways to dislike ALL car salesmen) is one of benign neglect or disinterest. So, with our friend Luzma in hand to translate we go to the Subaru dealership for what we hope will be a straightforward transaction. But no.....
All we want is a Subaru Outback 2.5 liter with tan leather seats. How hard can that be? Apparently, impossible. Our salesman begins by telling us they have no 2016 models because they "don't get them until they have sold all the 2015s" Huh? They have a zillion 2015s with black leather seats (could they not see a link between a semi-tropical climate and a lack of enthusiasm for black leather seats? No.) So, we say SURELY in the entire country of Mexico a car such as this exists. Our salesman saunters to the phone to begin his survey. Eternities later, he returns and triumphantly announces that he has found a never driven 2014 model that meets our criteria but it is in Leon. In order for us to see it we must provide him with a 50,000 peso deposit (about $3K USD). In cash. He will only put 5,000 pesos on the credit card. So we do.
Two days pass. There is a phone call to Luzma. It is the salesman and he informs here that there is no car in Leon meeting this description. But don't worry. He is hot on the trail of another car to meet our demanding requirements.
The salesman calls Luzma. Huzzah! He has found a 3.6 liter (not what we want) 2015 demo (not what we want). But we say, bring it on down because we are having a mental breakdown. Two days pass. The car has disappeared. Or never existed. Or something. You need a break. Look at the cute photos. (Insert photos of dogs, kittens, kids)
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| To add a little levity, I am inserting some photos of the annual Terranova school Easter egg hunt. |
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| I don't know how they EVER figure out where the eggs are! |
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| It is also unclear if they have a little Halloween/Easter confusion going on with the costumes. Why would you dress up as an octopus for Easter? |
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| OK. At least these kids are dressed like bunnies... rather than what looks like a dust mop behind them. |
She (the manager) says that she is very well aware of our problem and is moving heaven and earth to find the requisite vehicle. She is now to the point of surveying Subaru executives who may be turning in their fleet cars-- great. Spencer asks why there are no 2016 models -- is it because they have to sell the 2015s first? She informs Spencer that they will NEVER get the 2016s. Period. Apparently they are introducing a totally redesigned Outback Model in 2017. So, they just decided it was too much trouble or something to ship the 2016s to Mexico. It is quite bizarre.
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Why We Love Mexico Despite Everything in this Blog
Last week we went to Patzcuaro to pick up our newly commissioned copper basins from the little village of Santa Clara del Cobre. Despite, or perhaps because of, our Google Maps directions on the iPhone, we manage to get seriously lost 6 times over the course of two days. On our last wild goose chase through Morelia we had stopped at 3 Pemex stations and received directions that were quite incomprehensible. At Pemex 4 I ask the attendant how to get to the Cuota (Toll Road). This is a BIG road between Guad and Mexico City. Anyone over the age of 10 should know where it is but she doesn't. In my poor Spanish I ask a man who is filling up for directions. He begins and is rattling along and losing me and then he stops. He looks at me and says, "Don't you speak English?" I almost kiss him. He then starts to explain in my mother tongue and finally just says, "Don't worry. Follow me and I'll take you to where you will see the signs. So we do. And we find the cuota. And we survive another trip to Michoacan. Thanks to the very nice, English speaking man who we probably deported who spends his time helping hopeless gringos he will never see again. Nice people.
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Back to our drama. Then Luzma calls us after yelling at the Sales Manager. The Sales Manager says she had "just told Spencer that they'd never get the 2016s because she "doesn't like to give him a cut on the commission" and "if we don't have what Spencer wants he goes somewhere else." The nerve.
The salesman calls Luzma once more and says he has found the car but he has no idea of the: 1) price; 2) mileage or 3) location of the car. When Luzma demands the information he tells her he will have it -- in two days.
At the end of Day 2 he has enough information to convince us that he might have an actual car. But to get it from Monterrey we must: "give them another $375,000 pesos and insure it. We hasten to do both and he tells us it will arrive the following week. It does not.
They call and say it finally has arrived. We insist they take a photo of it in front of the dealership. We almost demand they hold a dated newspaper in front of it like in the kidnappings but decide THAT is a little paranoid. Michael arranges to go "visit" the car to make sure it has things like wheels and an engine before we pay the final amount. He goes to Guad and finds out that the car is "out". Out? Out? Where does a car go when it goes out? It is "out" being detailed says the sales professional. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe we should have demanded the dated newspaper.
And now it is over. After changing their minds about a wire transfer of money that they had agreed to we manage to get a certified check (no small deal in Mexico) and Michael goes and fetches the car. It is a 3.6 liter (that we didn't want) with 4,800 kilometers on it (that we didn't want but don't hate) and it has wheels and an engine. The User's Manual is all in Spanish which makes it more fun to set up the Navigation, radio, CDs etc. Success. Sometimes you just have to manage your expectations.
Thank you for sticking with us through this drama. We're hitting the road again. Yes, we're taking one last ride in the Brown Subaru to deliver it to Alex in Los Angeles. We'll wend our way to Mazatlan for a couple of beach days, dart through Cartel Country, spend a couple of days in Tucson and then on to LA. From there it is up the coast through San Francisco to Sonoma and then to Yosemite. Back to LA and fly back to Guad. An action packed few weeks. Stay tuned. May be a while before the next blog. Take care.
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| Finally we will leave you with some pictures of the beautiful Primavera in bloom.... |
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| and the Jacaranda... |
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| and the Primavera & Jacaranda together. A sure sign that spring is here. |
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| Although one of the most delightful parts of living here is the flowers that are around all year long like these. |
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