Sunday, February 24, 2013

No Wonder They Need Lent


I know there are all sorts of religious reasons for Lent but I suspect they do Lent here just so people can recover from Mardi Gras.  You may wonder why you haven't seen a blog in quite a while.  We've been in recovery (not rehab-- recovery).  Since Lent started there have been no: parades; fireworks; cross dressing, flour throwing sayacas; nada.  I can honestly say this is the most protracted period of calm we have enjoyed since sometime in July.  However, let's move backward to the final days of  Mardi Gras and the chaos that was then the norm.

Mardi Gras Revisited

When we left off, we had just attended the first parade and  night of Carnaval in Chapala during which the Burial of Ill Humor was conflagrated in its casket.  Ajijic and Chapala have evolved a ping-ponging schedule of parades, beauty contests, carnivals, charras and food fests punctuated by bottle rockets, fireworks, tuba bands and church chimes that ensure that no one in either town will get a full nights rest for at least a week and a half.  And to experience all of this with us, Betsy and Fred arrived just as the  Mardi Gras pace accelerated.  Their timing was magnificent in that they flew out of Boston the day before 31" of snow fell.  Somehow, that made everything in our little village look even better to them.

We dragged them from pillar to post stopping only to shore them up with margaritas and vast quantities of food.  We attended two out of three parades. The third was the final night of Mardi Gras and the participants obviously either lost their way or stopped for refreshment en route because they straggled through our part of town an hour and a half late. We had bailed out after an hour and were happily installed at the Plaza with a group of friends and our libations.  I mean how many parades can one set of humans do....
Even the local motorcycle group joins in the Chapala Carnaval spirit by joining the parade...
and getting creative in decorating their motorcycles & themselves...

creating a coffin on wheels.



The addition of the hula girls adds to the eclectic nature of the Carnaval parade.

Three generations of beauty queens. The oldest is the mother of our good friend Ramon.

Even our own Senorita Ajijic is represented.

The giant iguana float was definitely one of the crowd's favorites.

The prowess (and bravery of the women) is demonstrated here and...

in this photo. One slip and you land on not so soft cobble stones.
More fearless performers in the parade.


This colorful group was Deirdre's favorite.

Two generations of proud charro in the parade.

Then there were the cars, like this Spider Man corvette...

this old Chevy BelAir...

and this more modern rig with trailer & car, along with far more too numerous to include in the blog.

No Carnaval is complete without its King & his entourage.

An obvious victim of the sayacas during the Ajijic Carnaval celebration.

Betsey, Deirdre & Fred get sprinkled with confetti during the Ajijic Carnaval celebration.

Granddaughters of Becky, our property manager (the two young charras on horseback) in the Carnaval parade

Another of Becky's granddaughters

Fred, Deirdre & Betsy after being covered with confetti (Fred wisely had on his ball cap)

Fred, Deirdre & Betsy sitting down to eat at one of the food stands in the Mercado in Guadalajara

Betsy & Fred sitting on the giant chair in Tlaquepaque



Sun City No, Sedona Maybe

As we gain tenure here, we are noting that a surprisingly large percentage of ex pat folks are of a channeling, mystic and decidedly ex-hippie bent.  Routinely at Open Circle (you remember, the group that makes U.U.s look like evangelicals) speakers exhort us to expand beyond the 10% of psychic capacity that we are currently employing to reach ever higher pinnacles of awareness. I don't know, but I thought the idea of retirement was that 10% was pretty OK and actually sought after.  I was vastly disappointed to learn that we had missed last week's talk which explored a new self enrichment program called BE.  As part of this lecture, the presenter would "place a real arrow in her throat and break it with pure energy to demonstrate that when you live in contact with your vital energy, everything is possible".  Damn.  Later reports stated that not only was the presenter successful but that an audience volunteer couldn't wait to try it too.  No report on how the volunteer fared.

So the next day we were at the Gringo Monday Market where said presenter had a booth expanding upon her prior day's impressive results.  Now, we learned, we could sign up for the Firewalking Seminar. The booklet informed us that actually we were using LESS than 10% of our potential and with this seminar we would "learn how to access and benefit from your other 90+% and the doors that can be open when developing the other levels of consciousness.  You'll be guided through overcoming your fears, building your inner strength and finally, after a calm and confident walk across the red-hot coals, claiming the life of your dreams on the other side." Cost: 2,500 pesos or about $200 USD.  It was all I could do to restrain Michael from signing up on the spot.

Religion and spirituality in its many forms, or the lack thereof, is a hot topic in Ajijic.  We have all the mainstream ones, plus a congregation that celebrates all of them, and a group (I wouldn't call it a congregation) who adamantly worships no deity beyond rationality and science.  The Atheists (called Free Thinkers in Ajijic speak) are a recently formed group that is obviously outnumbered by the more devotionally-oriented folks but they soldier on and write many editorials. Oh, I forgot the Evangelical Motorcycle Club. There are probably witches and wizards but we haven't met them yet.

In keeping with the general drift of the population, the number of support groups is really impressive for a small village -- these people have obviously seen and experienced a lot.  Here is a sampling:  Alcoholics Anonymous, Al Anon,  Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (probably all of us), Gamblers Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Artist Support Group...
I'm sure there are more.  All of this, and the diverse backgrounds and nationalities found here, make for a very interesting petrie dish of political, religious and social views.

Random Notes and Upcoming Topics

Gone But Not Forgotten -  In the Mardi Gras Parade marched giant puppets (made of corn husks of course) representing the recently deceased Pedro Loco and his donkey Vino Blanco.  This was particularly touching because the parade is a Mexican deal and obviously he won the hearts of Mexicans and Gringos alike.  Unfortunately we didn't get a picture.

Gone and Unable to be Forgotten - We took Betsy and Fred to Piano Rojo to see Chi Chi Rone's Ah Chihuaha show.  A portly transvestite (but with VERY good legs) who charmed with jokes and belted out tunes of long gone by.  A good time was had by all -- particularly Chi Chi.

Chi Chi Rones with a "victim" from the audience

Chi Chi Rones ater a costume change in the second half of "her" act.

Finally Chi Chi as Judy Garland.


New Record-  Previously we had met a person who was married five times.  Now, we met a 6er.  Comment to me:  "I liked the new one until a few years ago".  Watch out sir.

It's All in a Name-  Went to a neat little restaurant in an upscale B & B called Hacienda del Lago.  Was talking to someone and mentioned it and he said: "Wait, that's the name of the rehab place on the other side of the Carretera."  I bet they both get some unexpected guests.  Research pays.

Upcoming:

Chili Cookoff - A three day extravaganza of chili excess and Margaritas with contests for best of each held at Tobolandia (a 1960ish water park in town).  Vast amounts of both chili and drink will be consumed.  There are so many ways to go wrong with so many Margaritas at a water park.

The Passion Plays -  A full week or more of, well, you know the story.  Featuring daily processions, self flagellation, and a trek up the mountain carrying a REALLY big cross.

Semana Santa - No it's not Christmas again.  It's Holy Week which isn't really all that holy because it's a huge vacation and the folks party hard.  To discourage rampant carnage on the highways, the authorities take the worst car wrecks, put the hulks up on empty oil barrels with signs that say "Si tome, no maneje"  If you drink, don't drive.  Rather direct.

Trip to the Coast - We said we'd never go again.  See blogs on La Manzanilla and Yelapa.  We're going.  We'll report.

Gerry and Joan are coming -   One of Michael's ex-partners and his wife arrive mid March.  They've read the blog and they're still coming.

The Big Move -  Yep.  We're out of here.  No more mirrors over the bed and 6 person jacuzzis overseen by stained glass unicorns and mermaids.  But not far.  More as the smoke clears.

In the interim have fun and let us know what you are up to.





Monday, February 4, 2013

The Burial of Ill Humor... and Much More...

Okay.  I give up.  This week too much has happened.  Just too much.  I cannot cover the week's events in my usual deep, analytical and insightful style.  I shall instead adopt my Entertainment Tonight mode which presupposes your attention span to be eight seconds and your thirst for detail to be nonexistent.  I apologize but THERE IS SIMPLY TOO MUCH.

First Parade
You will remember our cross dressing, flour throwing sayacas from the previous blog.  Well, last Sunday they suited up for the first Mardi Gras Parade of the season.  This will be repeated today and then three more times immediately before Fat Tuesday.  As they pranced through town they picked up (well not literally) horsemen who accompanied them on their round about voyage to the bull ring.  I have spent more time in bull rings these last weeks than... well, actually, before this month I'd never been in a bull ring, so forget it.  But we've been in our local bull ring a lot recently.  Once in the bull ring, the sayacas upped the ante in the flour fights with the young boys. And it's not easy to chase down adolescents wearing heels and a miniskirt.  See photos.  This was followed by very young boys riding bulls.  Real bulls.  As I watch events like this I harken back to America and watching four year olds ride tricycles in helmets and shin guards. We live in a very different world now.  This event was followed by a barbecue in the Plaza hosted by the Charros to thank the ranchers who brought the bulls that mercifully failed to disembowel the youth of the town.  Followed by a dance.  Onward.

Sayacas with flour seeking people to anoint.
Running from the sayacas.


This one didn't escape the sayacas.

Sayacas stalking more children.

Charros join the parade with their Modelos.

The charros start their young early, even if they have to rope them in.

A sayaca pursuing its prey in the bull ring.

This boy got caught!

This sayace is talented with the lasso...

and uses it to good effect to capture someone.


Watch the flour fly.

Some of the kids get to try bull riding ...
and experience the agony of defeat!

Others appear to be natural bull riders.



Tacky Bedroom/Bath Off
Fine, I promised so here goes.  I referenced one of the house tour houses and mentioned that I felt their master bed and bath was rather...well...tasteless.  However, any of you who have seen our master bedroom/bath (I stress that we RENT) would immediately state this is the pot calling the kettle black. So, you decide.  The photos say it all.
Who wins the prize...

bed and ...


bath #1?

Or is it our bed ...
with the mirror above and ...
bath #2 with the six person jacuzzi & "tasteful" stain glass windows?




Seguro Popular es muy popular
You may remember that Michael and I have been working to enter Seguro Popular, the national health system here.  It doesn't matter if you are a citizen-- as long as you are retired they'll take you.  As with any government program anywhere, Seguro Popular is rife with documents, procedures etc. that  test the good humor and intellect of any human.  And they do it in Spanish.  Only Spanish.  We had jumped an admirable number of hurdles and had reached the point where we had the all important booklet saying we were "in" and had obtained a local English speaking doctor.  But we needed to go register at the really good hospital in Guadalajara where we would want to be admitted should something seriously go awry body-wise.

Thank God for Ramon.  Ramon is our friend who was born and raised in Guadalajara and, thus, speaks Spanish.  And knows the ins and outs of the hospital having negotiated it numerous times with his partner Ed.  A group of seven of us Gringos were going to attempt to register ourselves when Ramon and Ed said,"Are you mad?  You will never survive on your own!  We may never see you again!"

In retrospect they were right.  We were a spectacle.  Seven very pale, tall WASPs amidst a sea of walnut toned, short Mexican folks.  We followed Ramon as if he were a mother duck.  He dashed from window to window, doctor to nurse, administrative flunky to administrative flunky translating at a furious pace while we stood, staring without comprehension with mouths unhinged.  It was Ed's job to keep us in a manageable herd while Ramon ran the obstacle course of doctors and paperwork with each group member.

So, how did it end up?  We each saw a doctor who took our medical histories and reviewed our medications.  Within the group we got three, maybe four, referrals to their hypertension clinic, one to an orthopedic surgeon, one for a mammogram and one for I think an endocrinologist (but I'm not sure) and orders for lab tests.  What will all this cost?  Nothing.  Nada.  Rien.  It took three hours total and we each emerged with the little book that we flash in the EMTs face as we're pulled from the car wreck insuring we will end up in the best hospital in Guadalajara (or so many say).

Michael and I still have private catastrophic insurance and will sign up for Medicare when that fateful birthday arrives but Seguro Popular is pretty impressive.

Some of the organized chaos of Hospital Civil.


It's Over.  But It Was Fun
Well, we finally put a lid on Christmas yesterday.   It was Candlemas (40 days after Christmas, something about Mary and purification but remember-- no details or insight today).  Turns out Rosy ended up with Baby Jesus in the cake on Three Kings Day so she was on the hook for the traditional tamale party to be held February 2nd.  She and Luzma feted the group and stuffed us with enough tamales to hold us over until next Christmas.  So, out of the Nativity Scene and back to sleep Baby Jesus until it begins again in a mere 10 months or so.


El Rey Feo and The Burial of Ill Humor-- Second Parade

Having survived the Seguro Popular enlistment we hastened back to Lakeside to partake in the first really BIG Mardi Gras event in Chapala.   This began with the parade featuring many scantily clad people dancing in and on pick up trucks, creatures on stilts, the requisite Tuba bands and El Rey Feo (the Ugly King) and his glittery, star bedecked coffin.   The parade toddled down the main street, along the malecon and terminated at the gates to Christiana Park which is a huge park on the shore of Lake Chapala.   Eagerly awaiting admission to the park were, oh I don't know, maybe THOUSANDS of people on foot, in strollers, in wheelchairs and most impressively on 6" stilleto heels (not the terrain for those but the young things persist).  With great ceremony, the coffin was unloaded and transported into the park followed by the hoards.  We progressed to a stage and seating where still gyrating, scantily clad folk danced while the announcer  fueled the anticipation of the crowd for the coffin conflagration to come.  The coffin (which contained the oft mentioned ill humor) was positioned on a sidewalk (no extinguishers, no cordoning off etc) and set aflame to the cheers of the multitude.  Simultaneously vast quantities of fireworks erupted over our heads.  It was quite something.

Let the Carnaval Parade begin.

No Carnaval would be complete without scantily clad women & a scantily clad man as well!

Even the entrance to Cristiana Park is decorated for Carnaval.

The coffin to bury ill humor is led into Cristiana Park underneath the appropriate sign.

No Carnaval would be complete without a carnival.

Food is an important part of Carnaval as well.

On the stage in Cristiana Park more scantily clad women & girls.

Fireworks are part of the Carnaval celebration as well.

The coffin containing ill humor is burned while the celebration continues on the stage...

and continues...


while the coffin continues to burn.

What Carnaval carnival would be complete without the freak show!


This celebration in Christiana Park will continue for the next twelve days from noon to 2AM each day.  During this time, the park is filled with food stands, amusement park rides, an ice skating rink, a seal show (why seals?), a bird show, various concerts, car displays with bikini clad women, and stalls selling an unusual array of items.  Like furniture. Ajijic, not to be outdone by Chapala, will be hosting its own array of Mardi Gras events.  We will keep you posted.

We're gearing up for Betsy and Fred's arrival on Thursday and shall drag them mercilessly through the last week of Carnaval merriment.  They shall probably be shipped home covered with flour, stuffed with street food and swearing they will never touch a Margarita again.  But they will.....