Headed South: Wasting Away Again in Margaritaville

I mean, honestly. Jimmy Buffet was in the fake Margaritaville. You know the sporty, cruise-y, dock shoe-y Margaritaville world. The BVI, St. John's one. Not the one where there are tequila tastings at Walmart. Now, THAT is Margaritaville. I don't know what got me going on this diatribe. I mean I like Jimmy Buffet -- in small doses. Maybe it's the unrelenting pace of fiestas and margaritas. This place has been madness since mid November with the St. Andres fiesta followed by four days of blessed peace, followed by the Virgin of Guadalupe fiesta. Each of these tributes lasts nine days and are buckets of fun and noise but towards the end (like now --only one more day) one gets a little tired. And we are not even going to the fiestas every night and drinking to 2AM and dancing our shoes off like the locals. We are just trying to sleep. The other morning on the first day of the Virgin of Guadalupe novena there were 48 (oh, my God they are going off AGAIN as I type) cohotes at 6:04 AM. These were proceeded by the sound of the dinner bell heard on Bonanza which pealed for a minute or two followed by Las Campanas -- the church bells --for about five minute. The finale was the worst tuba band on earth (that is unkind, they try hard). But it is really fun. I don't know. This post will be very existential. Well, that is grandiose. It will be scattered. Because of lack of sleep. And because SO MUCH is going on.

Thanksgiving

This was the first Thanksgiving that we hadn't been with at least one of our sons and I was prepared to be morose. But we went to Adelita's with about 15 friends and had a really good Thanksgiving dinner. I thought it odd that we had to ASK for cranberry sauce but then I remembered how they had stuck it to us for cranberry sauce when we bought it last year (Mexicans don't eat it because they have never seen a cranberry growing in their land) and understood. Jim brought two of his English as a Second Language Students who were really fun. The best part was when Jim tried to explain stuffing to them. "You take WHAT and you put it WHERE in the bird because... WHY?" You know it's amazing how much you accept something because it's just what you've always seen or done. I mean-- think about stuffing a turkey. It IS a little weird. Adored these guys. Going to go and sit in on Jim's class more.

Michael is Yet Older

In the midst of all the fiestas Michael took a moment to have his birthday. And celebrated by having the worst cold ever seen on the face of the earth. So here is the question. Are colds prone to happen when it is cold and people are pushed cheek to jowl indoors spreading slime between them? If not, why are all those annoying cold remedies commercials aired only from October on. And, IF THIS IS TRUE, how do you explain a large number of our pals getting colds now when it is 70 degrees, all our windows are perpetually thrown open and we don't like breathe on each other inordinately. This is a bafflement. Or, as we say, quien sabe? He finally recovered and we went out with a few pals to a birthday dinner. He was OK and did not fall into his plate asleep or anything. He is quite OK.

The End of the Saint Andres Festival

Michael managed to make it to the end of the Saint Andres Festival which is pretty intense. Every night of the nine fiesta nights is sponsored by a different trade group (carpenters, masons etc.) and the last night is always a blowout. Each night, multiple bands are featured from the perennial tuba offerings to top notch banda, mariachi et al. The plaza rocks with people dancing and the teenagers doing a sort of modern day paseo (sans chaperones it appears) The paseo involves walking circularly around the bandstand in the center of the plaza and eyeing the talent going in the opposite, or perhaps same, direction. It gets a little messy because there are throngs of people, rollicking dogs and darting children interfering with the teenage mating ritual. Despite it all, they manage to mate.

Everybody gathers in the plaza to celebrate San Andres.

Really, Really Random Notes from SOB

Truth to tell I could have held off and had a blog with more material but the upcoming week or two will hold so much that I was afraid I'd have to leave stuff out. I mean there is another house tour (ANOTHER! can you STAND it!) and the Posadas and odd decorations that have to be covered so this one is just....well... what it is. But if you need some weirdness:

How to Cut a Soccer Field
The other day I was puttering around and there was this annoying sound. It was a weed whacker. Do you know how long it takes to cut an entire soccer field with a weed whacker? About two hours longer than it takes for me to lose my mind. When I remarked on this in an astounded tone to a friend he said, "Don't be ridiculous, that's what they use here. " OK. Fine. Hope the grass on the soccer field doesn't grow really quickly.

Carrots are the New Breadcrumbs
Mexicans have a love affair with carrots. And I don't blame them. Their carrots really are tastier than US carrots. I firmly believe this. But they keep showing up EVERYWHERE. Places Americans would never suspect. Yesterday I bought meatloaf (lazy, lazy I know) from this really nice Mexican woman at the Monday market. When we ate it last night there were many, many carrots in it. Mom never did that. I've never done that. I didn't think SHE should have done it --but Michael ate it right down. They seem to use them as filler or binder like we use breadcrumbs. I'm looking out for them on my next fried filet of trout.

He's Gonna Find Out Who's Naughty or Nice
Oh, yes he is.... The other day I was driving down the carretera just admiring the onslaught of Christmas cheer and bounty when I spied a giant Santa pinata. It was really cute and big and red. And I thought "That is really cute. I bet some kid will love it". And then, as the light turned, I thought a bit more deeply (but certainly nowhere near profoundly) about the whole thing. Is it right to give a kid a Santa pinata and have him whack the @#&X% out of it? Really? How would the REAL Santa feel witnessing this? Would it spell coal and hickory switches for the miscreant? And then my mind detoured to the adorable little llama pinatas and Hello Kitty pinatas and.... well you get the idea. They should make scorpion pinatas and rattlesnake pinatas and Ted Cruz pinatas. I'm going to suggest it.

I'm Going to the Shaman..Uh, Huh..I'm Going to the Shaman
Let me preface this by saying that my friend who went to the shaman is a perfectly logical, rational person. Really. So when his wife announced that he was shaman-bound for a pulled groin muscle I was astounded. I begged them for a full recounting of the event just so I could pass all this info on to you guys. So, here goes. The wife (you may notice I'm guarding anonymity) told the husband to reveal NOTHING about his injury/problem. He complied. He climbed on the table and the shaman touched his head. He said that he had a trapped nerve in one leg and he had "released" it. But, he also said that he had a torn ligament which could only be repaired in time. So, my friend was a little impressed but, being British (oops! a clue) didn't swoon over the guy. However, shaman dude was not finished with him. He pronounced him in fine overall condition and opined that with a little bit of training (undefined) he would be able to satisfy 30 women. NOW the husband swooned with glee and the wife dragged him out. Not bad for 100 pesos or the ego eh? They'll be no shaman for Michael.

Be Prepared!
The other night we were at The Breakfast Club when our friend Donna (Bye Donna, Miss you Donna -- oh, Todd too) pulled this thing out of her purse. It resembled nothing other than a feminine hygiene article for perhaps.... an elephant. "Oh my God Donna! What is wrong with you?" I asked baffled and repulsed. She laughed and said "It comes free with the toilet paper." But why? For what? You see we buy our toilet paper at Costco and obviously have missed out on this wondrous free offer. OK. This is what it's about. You find this stuffed into the inside of the cardboard roll within the toilet paper. Its use? Twofold-- no pun intended. First, some rural rest stops lack toilet paper. You stick this in your car and you are good to go. Two, you stick it PROMINENTLY in your car and people (bad people) know you are Mexican and not a gringo (witness my ignorance) and leave your car alone. Live and learn.

The freebie in question.

Deirdre & Donna holding the little toilet paper roll.

Yet another Medical Rant

P.S. Our on-going (probably annoying) health care statistics. The N.Y. Times had an article (12/3) on varying costs for specific injuries/treatments etc. in the U.S. Please write us if you can understand how any of this makes sense:

* A cut finger requiring stitches in Emergency Room. Hospital charges only -- not doctor. New England - $566.00
Pacific states -$1,043. Middle land states in between the two.

* Remember my average angioplasty/stent prices from Mikey's earlier adventure. Well, the California average for that was $117,000. I think we paid $10K for the whole nine yards.

Ah, but now some of you are saying "but those hospitals must pay for the overwhelming cost of caring for the poor and uninsured and not being reimbursed". In this study of California hospitals (all NON-PROFIT by the way) the net income ranged from $102 million to $200 million. Net. Their charity care costs ranged between $5 an $35 million.

Domesticity

Only after you have lived in a house where the living room features white tile from floor to ceiling terminating in a popcorn ceiling can you truly, truly appreciate it when you don't. Celebrating our exodus from the Valley of Bad Taste we are enthusiastically embracing the world of home decor in our new house. We hit Tlaquepaque last week and went shopping mad. I could not believe Michael shopped (and seemed engaged) for over 4 hours. This is a personal best for the boy who suffers anxiety and looks like he has to breath into a paper bag after 10 minutes in a mall. We got a painting of a folklorico dancer (well, most of her but you have to see it to understand) and a couple of sculptures for the alcoves outside the door and a really neat bedspread made of indigenous weavings like a quilt and toilet paper holders (it can't ALL be exciting). So-- settled in and gearing up for Christmas. Will reveal more shortly. Hope you all enjoy the ramp up to the big day. Take care.